and she gets ONE text from dan and wigs the fuck out.

“oh, he just knows how to upset me.”

and all he fucking said is that he couldn’t fax a form to her today.

THATS IT.

And since then, she’s thought of all sorts of excuses for why she can’t quit drinking right now. 

reasons like: 

• Dan upsets her
• She’s gonna try and lose weight WHICH DOESN’T EVEN MAKE SENSE. ALCOHOL HAS SO MANY EMPTY CALORIES AND SHE HAS TO DRINK LIKE 18-20 BEERS BEFORE SHE EVEN GETS A BUZZ. AND THEN SHE EATS EVERYTHING IN FUCKING SIGHT.
• And then there is the guilt of not drinking.. which doesn’t even make fucking sense. If you’re guilty about drinking, then why the fuck would you keep drinking? That just piles on more guilt.
• And she just started a new job.. that stresses her out.
• and we’re broke.. so the only logical fucking thing to do is waste more fucking money on beer.

And she was doing so good (well, yesterday and today) and then Dan texts her, and she just drops the whole “sobriety” act. And I can’t even look at her or talk to her. I’m just so fucking over it.

And especially after she had this woman sit there and pray over her/us for her sobriety (which she knows makes me extremely uncomfortable).. and then just THROWS it out the window.

like fuck you.

and fuck you again.

and fuck me because I’m an idiot for actually believing shit would change.